Words From The Arch Bishop

A Tale of Addiction

"I've seen the needle and the damage done, a little part of it in everyone." - Neil Young

So let's say that your life is a mountain. As you grow, life gets harder and the slope of the mountain increases. Life is an uphill struggle. Climbing can get boring and it makes you so tired, so for some fun you slide back down a little. The older you get and the further up the mountain you are, the further back down you slide, and the harder it becomes to climb back up. So then, at some point in your travels, you come across this pool of water, or drugs. Boy this sure looks like some fun and a few of your friends are already swimming. Maybe some are taking the plunge for the first time with you. So you dip in your toe to test the waters. It sure feels great, and at first it is great. You come and go as you please, you stop to sip from the spring, you chat with the other swimmers, and on occasion you dive in head first. Before you know it, you're in there all the time. There are things you are neglecting outside of the pool, so you step out, but life isn't the same, not the same as in the pool. You feel like a fish out of water. You start swimming at strange times, you swim by yourself, you stay in way to long and your fingers begin to prune. You try to hide it from others. You tell them that you just take a dip every now and again. You stand there soaking wet, and you claim you're bone dry. But they see it in your fingers, smell it on your clothes, and feel it in your words. They try to towel you off and so you run, you dive into the pool and you hide under the water. Before long you look around and realize you're alone in the pool. Your friends have all gotten out and continued up the mountain in search of new and better adventures. That's fine you say, go ahead! When the rain comes and the ground gets soft, you'll slide right back down to the pool, and I'll be waiting. Perhaps that's why you jumped in, in the first place, the rain can't soak you if you're already wet. Now you've filled that void, the rain has stopped falling and the pool is beginning to dry. You start to sink, and your loved ones reach their arms down, but you bat them away. They throw in life preservers, but you toss them back out. You like it in the pool, they just don't understand that. If you're lucky, one of them will have the good sense to drag you out by your collar. So you sink and sink, as you're loved ones beg you to just reach up and take a hand. Before you know it, they've all gone, and the water has all dried up. The pool is now just an empty hole of what once was your life, and you've hit rock bottom. You now realize that there was never anything down here for you at all. You're alone. You hear your friends and family above you having a good time. You want to join in the fun, but you can't reach the surface alone, and they no longer reach down their hands, for they fear that you'll drag them down along with you. So stay alert now! A hand will appear, perhaps when you'd least expect it, or from whom you'd least expect it. Perhaps it's your own hand. Or maybe someone comes along who's been down in that hole before and knows what it's like. He'll help you out and tell you how lucky you are to have made it out alive. Some people drown in these waters. Maybe you've seen them swimming before, maybe you've swam with them, maybe, you taught them how to swim. Well you're free now, and while it's too late to fix the past, there is new hope for the future. The right thing to do now, now that you've been given a second chance to climb, is to pass on what you've learned to future generations, tell them about the dangers at sea, so they don't wind up caught in the undertow. So if you see someone just cooling their feet in the water, tell them how the water only cools for so long, before it begins to burn you. So now you wonder how I came to know all this. I'm a swimmer in an empty pool. Please find me. Please help me. 

"I swim but I wish I'd never learned, the water's too polluted with germs." - Sublime

I'll see you at the summit

yea so I wrote this great little piece on a whim but my computer is fucked. so I had to put it onto paper. now I'm to tired to post it. Oh well it needs some revision anyway. i'll fix it up real nice like and post it tommorow. not that anyone will read it. or this for that matter.

It's called "Swimmer in an Empty Pool"

see you in something anyway

"All the lonely people... where do they all come from?"

That's quite an increadable question. I'm probably the lonelist person in the world and I couldn't even tell you how it happened to me or how it could happen to anyone for that matter. At first I believed that it had something to do with me, I was such a little ass hole in high school. I though that if I could calm down and be nicer to people than they would like me more right? But all my old friends thought I was turning into a pussy and I couldn't get in with new friends because they couldn't see past this bogus persona I had crafted for myself. Well then when my closest friends started to hang out with "cool" kids they just didn't have time for me anymore and had no problem ditching me on a regular basis. I got to a point where I felt that people would never call me to make plans, that I was always calling them. So I decided to stop. I would stop calling people for a while to see who would be like "Hey! Where's Timmy? He's never around lets give him a call."  Well none of them called, well except for Bry, my one true friend in this world that I can always count on. So I was basically like well fuck all you fair weather types, and purposely would avoid people. People would invite me out sometimes and I'd just be like nah, cuz I'd rather go home and smoke pot alone. Now this is where I basically became depressed and just regressed and pretty much just let myself go. I completely made myself undesirable to anyone cuz I couldn't handle the pain of people I was close with leaving me behind. I didn't want to be with a girl if she was just gonna wanna move along to the "next big thing" as soon as I'd grown attached. So that brings me to the answer to my problems, girls. After breaking up with my high school sweetheart, I had a slew of girls who wanted to be with me, cooler girls, sweeter girls, hell better looking girls. But I was already in love with another and wanted nothing to do with them. I couldn't be with someone if I felt geuinne feelings for another, it's just not right. I start to think now that that's what I get for being a nice guy, for being considerate of others feelings, and trying to do the right thing. When I was a little bastard I was much better recieved and alot more happy. I was pretty much fucked. I put on a bunch of weight and stopped caring about my apperance. Then girls wanted nothing to do with me. When I tried to talk to them I could literally feel them being more creeped out with every word I said. I basically stopped setting myself up for failure.

"If we can't live together, then we're gonna die alone."

That statement changed something inside me. I realized that I really hated being alone all the time and I was just trying to not think about it because it hurt to much to think that people would not like me for any other reason then I wasn't cool, because I didn't fit into the popular stereotypes of what was cool, because I've always been able to think for myself. I'd be better off if I could just be a social tool, and change my style, interests, and beliefs along with the current trends. I'd hoped that maybe I could find a girl that could love me for me and not just because I had a good body, or a nice car, or a well paying job. Ha that's the dumbest thing I've ever thought. I wish I could pull of some shit like in Coming To America. But alas that only happens in movies. I've basically lost my faith in women and kind of see them as this evil creature that I can neither live with nor without. So my plan was to lose a bunch of weight and get a fashionable wardrobe and then just basically bag as many chicks as I could to get back at them for not seeing me as the great guy that I know I am and only seeing me as a fat kid. I felt like I would never be able to fall in love if they just saw me for my body and such and not for me, I don't think women are capable of seeing past these things, because if they were...  I wouldn't have been alone for so long. For such a long time I had just lusted for women, with no interest in love which I had tagged as a dead end road for me.

"I have never known the like of this, I've been alone and I've missed things and kept out of site, but other girls were never quite like this."

Well then I met this girl. She restored my faith in women. I never met anyone like her before. She is the first girl I ever looked at as more than just a piece of ass. I'm not even sure how it happened, it wasn't love at first site, (I don't know if that's possible anyway) I found her attractive, but lot's of girls are attractive, there wasn't anything that made me interested neccesarily. Then I got to know her and I thought she was such an amazing person that before I knew it I was totally crushing on her. She's the kind of girl I've always wanted to be with. God she's so fuckin awesome. It's really hard cuz I just want to tell her how I feel, but I know she would totally freak out if she knew, and may never speak to me again. I know that I'm not even good enough for her right now, but I'm getting there. Losing weight, heading back in the direction of school, and making money. So I'll make myself a promise, and make myself a deadline. Within the year I need to get my body in shape, start saving money for which to put into my future, get into school for writing and strongly pursue my career. QUIT FUCKING SMOKING TOO!  All of these things wiil raise my confidence, to the point that I'll feel that I'm actually attractive to girls, the confidence that I might be good enough for her, the confidence to ask her to take a chance on a bad boy like me. And then even if she rejects me at least I'll have reached my goal and I'll be able to go out and maybe find another girl to make me forget all about her.

"I am a vampire and I am looking in the city, but the pretty girls don't look at me, cause I have lost my fangs."
"So I'm sad and I feel lonely. So I cry and I'm very angry."

I can feel my fangs returning...

See you in another life

I got so much things to say right now. When I'm upset my thoughts are just negative and irrational. These quotes can best describe my mood. Enjoy.

We are lonesome animals. We spend all our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say — and to feel — ”Yes, that’s the way it is, or at least that’s the way I feel it. You’re not as alone as you thought.”     -unknown

The discipline of the written word punishes both stupidity and dishonesty.  -unknown

In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable.  -unknown

The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true.  -unknown

A guy sets alone out here at night, maybe readin’ books or thinkin’ or stuff like that. Sometimes he gets thinkin’, an’ he got nothing to tell him what’s so an’ what ain’t so. Maybe if he sees somethin’, he don’t know whether it’s right or not. He can’t turn to some other guy and ast him if he sees it too. He can’t tell. He got nothing to measure by. I seen things out here. I wasn’t drunk. I don’t know if I was asleep. If some guy was with me, he could tell me I was asleep, an’ then it would be all right. But I jus’ don’t know.  -of mice and men

George, you want I should go away and live in the mountains? George, you want I should go away and leave you alone? -of mice and men

"Miss Gates is a nice lady, ain't she?
    "Why sure," said Jem. "I liked her when I was in her room."
    "She hates Hitler alot...."
    "What's wrong with that?"
    "Well, she went on today about how bad it was him treatin' the Jews like that. Jem, it's not right to persecute anybody, is it? I mean have mean thoughts about anybody, even, is it?"
     "Gracious no, Scout. What's eatin' you?"
     "Well, coming out of the courthouse that night Miss Gates was... she was goin' down the steps in front of us, you musta not seen her... she was talking to Miss Stephanie Crawford. I heard her say it's time somebody taught 'em a lesson, they were gettin' way above themselves, an' the next thing they think they can do is marry us. Jem, how can you hate Hitler so bad an' then turn around and be ugly to folks right at home..."

     "But it's okay to hate Hitler?"
     "It is not," he said. "It's not okay to hate anybody."     -to kill a mockingbird

"I said why'd you run off? Was he really hateful like you said?"
    "Naw..."
    "Didn't you all build that boat like you wrote you were gonna?
    "He just said we would. We never did."
    I raised on my elbow, facing Dill's outline. "It's no reason to run off. They don't get around to doin' what they say they're gonna do half the time..."
    "That wasn't it, he...they just wasn't interested in me."
    This was the weirdest reason for flight I had ever heard. "How come?"
    "Well, they stayed gone all the time, and when they were home, even, they'd get off in a room by themselves."
    "What'd they do in there?"
    "Nothin', just sittin' and readin'... but they didn't want me with 'em."

    "Dill?"
    "Mm?"
    "Why do you reckon Boo Radley's never run off?"
    Dill sighed a long sigh and turned away from me.
    "Maybe he doesn't have anywhere to run off to..."   -to kill a mockingbird

"No, everbody's gotta learn, nobody's born knowin'. That Walter's as smart as he can be, he just gets held back sometimes because he has to stay out and help his daddy. Nothin's wrong with him. Naw, Jem, I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks."

"That's what I thought, too," he said at last, "when I was your age. If there's just one kind of folks, why can't they get along with each other? If they're all alike, why do they go out of there way to despise each other? Scout, I think I'm beginning to understand something. I think I'm beginning to understand why Boo Radley's stayed shut up in the house all this time... it's because he wants to stay inside."  -to kill a mockingbird

"Your father's right," she said. "Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's garden, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."  -to kill a mockingbird

Neighbors bring food with death and flowers with sickness and little things in between. Boo was our neighbor. He gave us two soap dolls, a broken watch and chain, a pair of goodluck pennies, and our lives. But neighbors give in return. We never put back into that tree what we took out of it: we had given him nothing, and it made me sad.  -to kill a mockingbird

"I feel for you John, I really do. You keep hitting dead ends. You couldn't find the cabin, you couldn't make contact with Jacob, you're so desperate to figure out what to do next, that you're even asking me for help. So here we are just like old times, except i'm locked in a different room, and you're more lost than you ever were."   - LOST

"What I'm giving you is an experience vital to your survival. I'm doing this because it's time for you to let go of some things, because it's what's best for you" -LOST

"Time to let go." -LOST

I'll see you in another life, brotha

 "S'pose you didn't have nobody. S'pose you couldn't go into the bunk house and play rummy 'cause you was black. How'd you like that? S'pose you had to sit out here an' read books. Sure you could play horseshoes till it got dark, but then you got to read books. Books ain't no good. A guy needs somebody-to be near him. A guy goes nuts if he ain't got nobody. Don't make no difference who the guy is, long's he's with you. I tell ya, I tell ya a guy gets too lonely an' he gets sick" 

it's from of mice and men... don't you read? lol

i just really love that quote, sure can relate to it, fuckin story of my life

yea that's it!

i gotta go, else george won't let me tend the rabbits

see you in another

It's got me trapped up in a mental state, 
just stessed out with hate, 
and this leaves me no time to relax, 
use my mind and meditate. 
                                    -Prince Rakeem

Ya'll done fucked up, lettin' me live, something's got to give
I'm positive, you're gonna all pay homage
Believe me, I ain't lyin' down that easy
And that thought applies for those who proud to see me
Through the distraction, I was wounded in action
An act of betrayal, but I knew the assassin
Now I pack a vengeance like Steven Seagal
I'm back from the trenches to even the odds and...

Yo, this is all out war, I'm callin' on all outlaws
Son, they new to the art, ain't true to the heart
Who's down for the cause, huh? 
                                      -Rebel INS

I'm too pissed right now to explain my self rationally. Luckily Wu-Tang know's how it is. 
Singing my life with their words. Killing me softly....

Getting up at 6 everyday and pushing dirt around all day is tiring, then coming home a doing everything around the house, while the "others", as i'll playfully call them, go off and try to distract themselves from the harsh realitiy that our lives suck, is even more tiring. Why would I continue to do all this for people who don't even wanna spend time with me and are continually making me pay for bad desicions I made 10 years ago? Because I'm stupid enough to love them. So I'll continue to do all this even if they don't even have the desencey to ask me how I'm doing every once in a while. Perhaps I deserve it, i used to do the same thing to my mum, so that's fair enough I guess. I just hope that one day, it comes back around to them. Sorry momma, hope you're proud of me....

"...but you'll fail, and you'll all die."

"If we die, the next generation will fight them too, and the one after them, for as long as we must, and eventually we shall succed."

you can't party your life away 
drink your life away
smoke your life away
fuck your life away
dream your life away
scheme your life away
CUZ YOUR SEEDS GROW UP THE SAME WAY!

I'll see you in another life, ma

Through difficult times lives are unrespected
my pops disapproves cause I wanna make records
but check it, my home life is second, I feel neglected
I bounce the first chance I get, I stop to think a second
I reckon, that I'm gonna need a place to sleep
a means of CREAM, I call up the God Supreme
I analyse, I'm plannin up a strategy
fuck a fantasy I'm dealin with reality
mentality that's wilder than the average cat
I'm snatchin' CREAM and sellin' brothas candlewax
I hit the tracks, I hold cypher with my brothers
all is understood, peace lies amongst each other
but meanwhile, I maintain to keep the same
I smoke a bone every now and then to ease the pain
but through the struggle I know that only God remains
                                                  -Beretta 9

I ain't even got nothing worth to post. My old man left the dog outside for more than 3 hours. It pissed me off.

well what a crazy day yesterday. I don't even know where to begin. Probably the most fun i've had in a while. good enough storm so no work, smile. but i decided instead of going back to bed like a bumb (chad) to get up and face the day, so i hung out with grace all day and then james, josh and momo all night, wound up being awake for 24 hours! So went with grace to nearly every place in town and got lots of things done, and had lots a fun , played ah, what is it, burnout? at momo's. oh and a round of guitar hero ha! i suck i felt like such a goober when i was caught taping my toe, didn't even realize i was doing it, guess i'm a natural lol. burnout's much better though, this game consists of taking the car of your choosing and driving it as fast as you can into oncoming traffic and cause as much damage as possible, which is just about the sickest thing i ever heard...but.... it's just about the funniest game ever. your score is the amount of property damage you cause and you have to reach x dollar amount in y amount of trys kinda like how golf scores. funniest thing josh and morgan get back to back hole in ones and then the rest of us all crash into the wall scoring nothing. "Somebody's drinking!" lol. no the best was jaime screamin" Hit the fuckin tailor head on!'  still though i gotta wonder what's going on with joel, where you at brotha?

"All that bullshit we been through, it's time to draw the line right here, gotta stop now time is the issue." - Raekwon the Chef

see you in the funny pages

Julian: What do you do when the man you are isn't the man you want to be?

Pastor: You give the man you are a swift kick in the ass.

Man when the fuck is The Sheild gonna be back on, it's that time of year, fuckin' writers strike! One more season for Vic and the strike team, or rather what's left of it :( poor Lem. Even though it got a little misguided i felt in later seasons when thge basicly wrote off Julian and Danny, 2 of the best characters. Too bad cuz Julian had a very intreging story line, he was vary religious and also very gay, and because of his religious views he felt it was shameful that he felt those feelings, and we saw the internal struggle escalate in the episode with the "blanket party" which is a pretty sick practice where two guys hold someone down under a blanket while another beats 'em repeatedly with a nightstick, so julian did the beating on a transvestite who had bitten Danny and he claimed that he was standing up for his partner, when really he was releasing his agrression towards his own feelings on the poor fella. "I hate this thing inside of me." he said. Wow. Deep shit man. Then at season's end the other officers find out that julian is gay and jump him at his house and throw him a "blanket party" of his own! That was awful, but soon Julian recovered and met a woman and tried to like convert himself and got married to her, but being that he was gay was unable to perform with her. and then... nothing. By season 4 Julian was a mear after thought and if you were to have only seen the last few season you wouldn't have any idea he was a very important character. As much as I loved the addition of Gleen Close to the cast she took up too much time from other great charcters who never found there way back into the thick of the story. But I love how in this show you root for the "bad guys" and hate the "good guys" or perhaps it's visca versa, that's for the veiwer to decide is it okay for Vic to side with a drug dealer, let him do his thing and then shake down the compitition so as to produce results? I dunno. Is it okay for him to steal millions of dollars from the armanian mob? dunno. Is it okay that when Armedillo raped that little girl Vic slapped his face down on the stove burner? yea i think so there. But that's the thing, it's not your cookie cutter cop show were everthing is black and white, the veiwer must decide what's right and what's wrong. One last season, will Vic get back at Shane for killing Lem, or will Vic finally go down for all the things he did? can't wait to see
well i gues i went on a bit i'll post my day later.

see you in another life, Dutch Boy!

"...babies with flys on their cheek it's hard to go to sleep" - Ghostface Killah

You know i could probably quote wu-tang in every situation in life, listening to them makes me a better person. "It only takes a lesson a day, just to analize life one time in a respectable mind."  After the laughter indeed comes the tears. I joined this silly little facebook group about being from merrimack and had a few good laughs, but upon joining it linked me to a page that had other groups recently joined by my friends, and i saw something that brought me to tears, it was poor starving kid from africa i believe, who was so skinny from starvation that it looked like... it was literally skin wrapped tightly around bone. I absolutely had to join and invite everyone of my freinds. My memorie is a little shakey but it said something like 24,000 people die of starvation a day, and i just imagined the pain of losing my mother 24,000 times. those 24,000 people are someones mother, someones father, someones sister, someones brother, someones friend... they are not just a fucking number. I feel so helpless right now but I gotta stay focused on my goal to make a ridiculous amount of money so that I can't put it where it belongs, into the future of our planet and the human race. Cuz you got these dumb americans here who bitch about getting the wrong order, when they oughta be glad there's a place for them to eat just around the corner from their house. Fuckin white people, you oughta be happy with clean water for christ sakes. Man I wish I was knowledgable enough on the subject to speak out on it better, but you know i'ma get on that.  So after the laughter I guess comes the tears.


He pointed to the charm on his neck, 
with his last bit of energy left,
told me rock it with respect.
I opened it seen the god holding his kids, 
photogenic, tears just burst out my wig.
Plus, he dropped one, oh shit, here come his old earth,
with no shoes on, screaming, holding her breasts with a gown on.
She fell on him, lightly touched his jaw, kissed him,
rubbed his hair, turned around the ambulance was there.

Then suddenly a chill came through, it was weird, 
felt like my man, was cast out my heaven now we share.

My occupation to stop the innauguration of Satan

see you in another life

"Hey yo, I really hate snakes, I feel like bustin' off rounds in they face, but that would be exibiting the same weak traits" -  Grim Reaper

Ah ha ha ha ha Chad is a hannah montana fan! I caught him jamming it in his car this morning, j/k though he was just being funny. Another great day outdoors, but that wind can lick me from the tip of my dink to the top of my ass crack! Geez! not much exciting i guess just cleaned out the trucks then went to whitegate to repair plow damage. "Who the hell plows this place?' says justin knowing full well that it is him. highlight of the day was chad going on all "did you ever see that episode of family guy...." over and over and justy just tears into him "did you ever see the episode where chad just kept talking and talking and never shut up, you just go on and on you can't turn it off can you?" ah boy good times. but yea gotta get on then, Grace is coming over. Yay!

"Check it, the mic is like my crystal ball, and when I'm on it, I'm open like a pore." - Gate Keeper

see you in another life

Mikey's back bitch! Ah the great outdoors, I love the smell of grass clippings in the morning. and I was excited to learn that i'll be on the mowing crew regardless, as justin said "It's either tim and chad or tim and chunk, there is no chunk and chad" ah hah chad, as that dope tried to fuck with me "oh when chunky comes back you'll be back pruning" enjoy playing in the dirt bitch ha ha! yea real funny first day though lots a laughs as we took everything out of the shop, swept, rearranged, and then put it all back. First though he sent me and chad to clean up rent one, which basically entails us picking up any trash, empty the butt thing, and change the bag. Today though we found, of all things, a pair of panties on the ground! Now what kind of whore get's banged out in the subway parking lot? Sheesh! Not classy ladies! Ah but I'm extremely psyched to be back landscaping, tools, mowers, blowers, the smell of gas urt urt urt! (my poor Tim "The Toolman" Taylor grunt).  I'm not sure why he insists on calling me mikey but it could be worse... it could be chunky lol

wow maybe he has a thing for nicknaming people after Goonies characters
omg that makes chad sloth! lmfao

see you in another one

"Do you wanna work at D'angelo's your whole life, Mikey? Or do you wanna make a difference in the world and learn how to rake?"    -Ol' Trusty Justy

If nobody reads this does that make me crazy? oh wait I reads this... pheew. thought i was in for a breakdown. 
so this is my real post sorry i got emotional before. went to the gym today for 3 hours today and am looking forward to going back tomorrow, i feel better physically and am also eating better, now if i could only quit smoking which is rediculously hard when i'm alone and bored all the time. oh well I oughta get some sleep, I gotta work in 37 minutes!!!

At night time I can hear the earth cry,
how many more black gods gotta die, 
before we realize there's no god in the sky,
the devil tricked us, that's the worst lie.

I hear a cry, 
peace to the earth, 
I cry.

i'll see you in another life, yea

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Wow I post alot. It's funny one day when I'm rich and famous someone will pay big bucks on e-bay for these archives. So today was my last day at D'angelos and believe it or not I'm kinda sad because what a great buch of people there, i'm gonna miss them all so much, they got me a cake and everything. I wish more people loved me like that, it feels nice. I wish those fuckers would gimme money though or i would stay. oh well it's in the past now. Yesterday's got nothing for me, oh pictures that i'll always see, but time just fades the pages in my book of memories. Back to the great outdoors tomorrow, fuckin snow or not i'm out there striving! now I'm off to the gym, gone lose this tummy and bag me a honey, best believe.

i'll see you in another life
 

yea so this day has gotten off to a fantastic start! the water heater is broken so no shower for me this morning and why the hell you felt the need to wake me up and tell me this so i could be pissed off for a couple extra hours instead of sleeping. it'd sure be nice if we monitored and maintained these things like normal people do. how on earth can you people sit idly and watch your lives pass you by, have you not figured out that life is too short for this, did you not see what i saw? you know she see's you now when your alone, are you making choices that would make her proud? I know I am, and I wish it hadn't taken so long for me to wake up, i used to ask myself "what's it gonna take for you to change?' and i wish that it had been something different, but i wonder now what's it gonna take for you? tryin to do all this alone is slowly killing me.....

see you in another life, yea

They say, when becoming a writer, that it's best to keep a journal, and that you should write in it everyday so as to stay sharp I guess. However that's not why I've decided to join this... well whatever you call this thing. I've joined because I've got a million things to say, with no way to explain, and no one to listen. So I'll be using this vehicle to vent my frustations with the world, and maybe someone out there will hear me. So here goes:
Where to begin? Well I did get some much needed sleep last night, so I got that going for me and not much else. Got up today and got right to business did a light workout than cleaned up the family room while the rest of my family did little to nothing. Which really draggs me down cuz we've all spent enough time sitting around doing nothing but feel sorry for ourselves for way to long and I'm trying to make things a little better around here and it seems to me that they couldn't care less. For some reason I'm more upset with her though, I guess cuz I actually expected something from her. We had such a good plan, she asked if I wanted to move into an appartment with her and that made me so happy, but no sooner than I left the house she bailed on me and made her own plans, plans on leaving me far behind, leaving me to take on the tough task alone. Whatever though, why should I care if they wanna be degenerates right? I've got the ball in motion now and I can't be stopped, they can all hate me now it's fine, one day they'll thank me. erg i'm sick of typing...

I'll see you in another life, yea